Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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