I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
