And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
