the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
