She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
