Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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