road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
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