apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
