This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
