i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
