Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
