My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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