Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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