I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
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