oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
