I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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