You smell like stripper and shame
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
