I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
