Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
