my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
