I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
