i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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