forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
