Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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