He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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