My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You took a bar mat shot.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
