Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
they're like a gay fantastic four
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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