help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
