the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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