Well apparently he's into motor boating.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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