it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
