Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
im holly from the hills drunk
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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