he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
PANTIES FOUND
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