I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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