a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
