Yo dont text me then not text me
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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