But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
