He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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