3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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