It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
