why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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