Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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