Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i've created a new STD.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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