Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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