Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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