I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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