yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
