oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
