Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
