If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just made out with a guy for $7.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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