went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
