All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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