It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
